Owned Boy

i have been feeling out-of-sorts lately, and have endeavored to discover the reason(s) why.  i think i finally know.  For the last six or eight months, i’ve been able to provide frequent service to Lady HotchKiss and Her House.  From the mundane changing of light bulbs and HVAC filters to the refinishing of patio furniture and the construction of Her dungeon, i have been able to provide frequent, and satisfying service on a regular basis.  Such is not the case lately.  Due to holidays and an increase in job demands, i have been able to provide only infrequent and time-limited service at best, sometimes going a week or more without so much as lifting a finger around the House. To say that i feel useless to Her is a gross understatement.

i am a part-time handyman-type slave whose service is limited to those times during the weekday when my job places few demands on me.  While i have  often been available for service for a few hours on a Saturday, due to life circumstances i am not available on Sundays and evenings.  Lady H’s life demands also impact on my utility to a degree and so between the job and life’s uncertainties it is never possible to accurately predict when i can come and work at the House.  i do however, try to make myself available at the same time each week for O/our “play” sessions.   Of late, however, i do not feel at all deserving of any play sessions.  Play sessions are ostensibly for the amusement and benefit of Lady HotchKiss, but as we all know, from these writings if nothing else, i too benefit from them. But lately i have not earned in any way, any such benefit.

This posting was not intended as a “woe-is-me” lament, but rather a further exploration of why i have felt not my normal self of late.  It has always been that when i commit myself to writing i more thoroughly explore and understand myself.  With this writing i have found that my unease is directly related to how much or how little i have been of service to LadyHotchKiss and the House of HotchKiss.  If there is a lesson to be learned here, it is to try ever harder to make myself available and of use to the House.

© 2009 – 2010, boy. All rights reserved.

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