Anniversaries
March 11th, 2010 | 
Author: This entry contains suppositions and possible assumptions that may or may not be accurate. They are, however, a reflection of my perceptions and therefore valid as points of discussion and/or contemplation.
There seem to be more anniversaries in a BDSM relationship than in a vanilla one. Most in a vanilla relationship celebrate their wedding days, but that’s about it. But what about BDSM relationships? The dates that seem significant to one partner may not be as significant to the other. In my relationship with LadyH, there are two significant dates, so far. The date i became Her submissive, and the date i became Her slave. If or when a collar is ever offered there will be a third, but of the two now present, each means something different to each of U/us. For LadyH, the date of surrender as a submissive seems more important, and for me, the date She took ownership of me as Her slave seems more important. Examining the relationship and O/our roles within it provides clues as to why this might be so. my surrender to Her may be more important to LadyH because it is something i did for Her. i actively performed an action which meant something to Her. Without my action, it would not have happened. i surrendered myself to Her in submission and She accepted. Whether She thinks of that act as a “gift” as so many do, is a subject for another day, but the act of surrendering is an act i performed in submission to Her. And so, i believe, it carries some import to Her.
Her ownership of me, on the other hand, is something She did for (or to, lol) me. She actively performed an action which meant something to me. Without Her action, it would not have happened. She offered ownership to me and i accepted. And so, it carries some import to me.
Two dates. She looks on the day i surrendered as O/our anniversary, and while i acknowledge that it is an anniversary, so is the date She took ownership of me. And being owned is more important to me than submitting. So i look on that date as O/our anniversary, as that is the date the relationship became something more than a sub serving a Domme. That is the date i became part of Her family, the date i became Hers.
For U/us, there are two significant dates with the possibility of a third. Others may have even more, with marriage thrown in as well.
© 2010, boy. All rights reserved.
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In my opinion, i think submitting is the biggest landmark in a relationship. Everything else follows. You really are giving of yourself over to Your Domme. Everything else afterwards is just a progression because you submitted yourself.
Of course, i am probably wrong. Again, i shouldn’t, but i do envy you and your relationship. COngrats…sick as a dog today on my day off with no pay.
i understand how you might feel that way. But for me…i have submitted to others in my lifetime. This is the first time i’ve ever been owned. Should i ever earn a collar, it will be the first time for that as well. But being owned…that stands out. It encompasses submission and becomes so much more than mere submission. She OWNS me. As a sub, i can walk away from any relationship. As owned property, i cannot. As a sub, i can insist on limits. As owned property, i cannot. As a submissive, i have a right to input into the relationship. As owned property, i do not. That She allows these things is a testament to Her security in Herself as an Owner. But being allowed to do something and having a right to do something are entirely different things. if you want to view things as a progression, consider dating, then engagement, then marriage. Which is the one celebrated with an “anniversary”? Ownership has a permanence not found in submission.