Communication

May 20th, 2010 |

Author: boy

Everyone says it…”communication is the key to a successful relationship”. This, of course, is particularly true in the world of BDSM where a failure to communicate under the wrong circumstances can lead to serious injury, but still, it is a given. One of the building blocks as it were, right up there with honesty and openness. I’ve never had a problem with honesty and openness, but the communication part can be a challenge, at least for me.As my readers know, i am a part time slave. i have a regularly scheduled visit with LadyH on tuesday mornings and other irregular and unscheduled visits to attend to my handyman chores. The time that i do have with LadyH is precious to me and therefore, i am loathe to bring up issues or problems, preferring instead to bask in Her presence and enjoy Her company (even when She is beating me or kicking my balls!) rather than embark on any “serious” discussions. Usually when one talks about communication in a relationship, they’re speaking about serious communication where problems and issues are aired and resolved. Combine this reluctance with my innate insecurity and one can imagine how easy it is for my concerns to escalate, sometimes to mind-numbing proportions, before finally being brought out and resolved.

This week, however, i took the bold step and asked the dreaded question…”May i please speak freely?” to which She replied…”You may speak”. Careful readers will note the difference in wording. The last time i spoke “freely”, i let my mouth overrun my brain and the result was not good. So, this time, i carefully worded my concerns. i won’t go into the matter raised, but did want to write about the result. In the past, i have held on to issues much too long before bringing them up to Her. By the time i had voiced whatever concerns were bothering me, i had elevated them in my mind to such huge proportions that the resulting conversations nearly got out of hand and could have damaged the relationship. This time, i did not delay in expressing my concerns. As usual, my fears were unfounded, the concerns easily explainable, and putting them out in the open eased my mind and let me focus more on what’s truly important…my service to LadyHotchKiss.

i’ve always thought that insecurity comes naturally to a submissive…part of the mindset that makes a person submit in the first place. And being insecure to a degree is not necessarily a bad thing. It causes a submissive to want to please, to need to serve, to seek approval. But in the case of communication, i am learning that allowing my insecurities to prevent me from raising valid concerns only makes those concerns grow to unreasonable proportions, and in the long run become damaging to a relationship where there would have been no damage had those concerns been resolved more quickly.

Owned Boy

Communication

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