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Orgasm Control – Part IV

boy — Wed, 26 May 2010 15:42:59 +0000

Yeah, i know, it’s becoming a fixation with me. But my Owner, LadyHotchKiss, keeps throwing more curves at me, causing me to experience it in different, even more intense ways. The last time i wrote of this subject, i told you that She had let me release and then immediately put me back under orgasm denial. (Orgasm denial differs from orgasm control in that under control, one is allowed to release under certain circumstances, i.e. once per week, upon accomplishing a known task, etc., whereas orgasm denial is just that…no orgasm allowed until and unless She relents).This time, She has made me “edge” right from the start. It is now 26 days since my last release, but i have to bring myself to the edge of release at least once per day. Then, a few days later, She threw another wrinkle at me. i now have to slap my cock…hard…at least five times when i am at the edge. i am still not allowed to cum. This is becoming very difficult to maintain. i have gotten so horny i am at the point where i would do almost anything to be allowed to release. Okay, okay…strike the almost. i can think of nothing that is not on Her hard limit list that i would not do at this point.
One of the things i have discovered about my cock, is that it is more painful to slap when it is flaccid than when it is engorged. When engorged, i can slap it as hard as i can and it is only mildly painful. When flaccid, the pain is much more apparent. i suppose there is a physiological reason for this that has to do with propagation of the species, such as…i don’t know…being willing to stuff a hard cock into a spike-protected vagina, i guess.

Twice since starting this latest go-round, and i presume it has to do with the edging and cock-slapping, i have had small releases of fluid. These are not orgasms, there is little to no sensation to go along with them, just an oozing of a small bit of fluid. Under normal circumstances, i see some pre-cum, both before and after i reach the edge, but this is different. Pre-cum is a clear fluid whereas this is a milky colored. And it does not have the characteristic smell of cum, so i suspect it is some of the fluid built up in the prostate that is finding its way out. Be that as it may, it offers no relief and i continue to suffer….for Her.

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Resounding success

boy — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 14:06:51 +0000

i have written about the use of medical sounds (called sounding by some) before, but it has been some time and i believe the last time i wrote about it, it was a description of my first experience. Just the thought of a long metal rod being inserted in one’s cock was enough to send chills up my spine, and that first experience was marked by my fear of the unknown to the point where that fear was the most relevant part of the experience. i have since been sounded twice more, each time more pleasurable than the last. The nerves are largely gone, though the sight of that rod disappearing into one’s cock still brings a thrill. i am much more relaxed under LadyH’s ministrations now, and can more thoroughly enjoy the experience. It is very hard to describe since there is nothing quite like the sensation of having your cock “fucked”, but that is about the closest analogy that will come to mind. LadyH tells me that She has never seen a sounding rod go as deeply as one does with me. These rods are about 10″ long (a guesstimate at best) and watching Her insert one is absolutely thrilling. With me, it seems almost like the thing is going to disappear completely, but finally stops with about 2″ showing. Above LadyH’s dungeon table are attached several mirrors so one can watch directly or through the mirrors for a different perspective. i enjoy raising my head to watch directly as not only can i see the rod being inserted, but i can watch Her face as it does so. Her rapt attention adds immeasurably to the experience.

The sounds are graduated in size. LadyH doesn’t use the smallest of them, as it seems the tip of it might be small enough to actually puncture something if not used very carefully. She also hasn’t been able to use the largest of them yet, as my urethral opening isn’t big enough to take it. Mostly She uses the mid-sized three or four, starting with the smaller of those and working up to the larger ones. She will sometimes put in two, one at a time, with the second one’s tip riding atop the first one’s tip. This configuration gives the most sensation of the cock being fucked.

i think, if a bottom doesn’t have complete trust in the abilities of his top, it would not be possible to entirely enjoy this experience. The bottom must be able to totally relax to get the full benefit of sensation that sounding brings. Also, don’t expect the best of results on your very first try. Even if you do have complete trust in your top, i don’t believe it would be possible to dismiss the fear of the unknown, especially when watching the sounding rod approaching your firmly grasped penis, then slowly disappearing into it. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and try it at least several times. 90% of those who do come to enjoy it very much.

A final word of caution. Though “safety first” is a given in all BDSM play, it is paramount in sounding. Never use unsterilized sounds. Never allow an inexperienced top to use you as a learning tool. Tops should learn proper sounding techniques by attending seminars and by being mentored by those versed in the use and safety of sounds.

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Coming out of Sub-Space

boy — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 01:33:08 +0000

Many people (myself included) have written about going into and being in subspace, even about sub-drop, which is related. But few have written about coming out of sub-space and so i will attempt that now.

my most recent foray into subspace was just yesterday, so i felt i should write about this while it’s fresh in my mind (i can’t be sure that i have even yet completely come out of subspace as i still feel a bit euphoric). i can only relate my own episodes, of course, so others may have differing experiences, but coming out of subspace for me seems to follow a pattern. LadyHotchKiss doesn’t always send me into subspace, and how deeply i go depends largely on Her ministrations as well. Yesterday i was well and truly into subspace, but not quite as deeply as i’ve been in the past.

While i enter into subspace during heavy “play” sessions, it actually deepens during the initial stages of aftercare. Aftercare is where i can relax, knowing i am being tended to and cared for. The relaxation itself sends me deeper still into subspace. i know the session is over and there will be no further pain. i know i don’t have to worry about anything at all, and can just drift with it and experience it fully. There is the key to subspace…not thinking about what happened or how you feel, but just letting go completely and actually experiencing how you feel, without thinking about it. It is a very pleasant, drifting sensation as you “visit” each part of your body affected by the session. After a time (which varies depending on how deep i have gone), awareness begins to return. The first thing i become aware of is LadyH cradling and comforting me while i am wrapped in a blanket. Then, one by one, all the sore spots begin to make their presence known, but not in a bad way. There is still the pleasant, drifting sensation, but with the additional awareness of one’s personal space.

At this point LadyH will usually lead me to a chair. i think the primary purpose of this is to see how well i can navigate and gauge my level of awareness. She will continue to touch and caress me, and after a time will begin to engage me in small talk, and then actual conversation. At this point, i am able to function again, but am still in some degree of subspace which will likely stay with me at least the rest of the day. For the next few hours, i will not want to think too hard about much of anything, so any tasks i have before me should be of a rote nature, where i can more or less go on “automatic pilot”. We generally session in the late morning and it’s followed by lunch, where my recovery continues. By the time i am ready to leave Her (usually to go to work), i can focus as necessary to complete any tasks i may have, but i still have a very “rosy” outlook. All is right with the world and nothing bothers me. i am basking in the afterglow of the session and of being in Her presence and care.

i have noticed that for a period of up to a couple of weeks, my disposition is always better after i’ve been in subspace. If i go too long without subspace, i return to my ordinary disposition, which is usually a happy one but susceptible, as most are, to moods, minor irritations, and so forth. For a good long while after subspace, nothing much bothers me at all and i am in good humor almost all the time. This manifests itself in all facets of my life…even work becomes more pleasant, and i am certainly more eager to see and serve LadyH in whatever capacity i may. Don’t get me wrong, She always gets first crack at all of my spare time as is Her right (as loyal readers will recall, i am a part-time slave), but in the afterglow of subspace, it is even more eagerly sought by me.

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Orgasm Control – Part Deux (Careful What You Wish For)

boy — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:26:59 +0000

Well, as i wished for, my orgasm denial described in the previous post was terminated. Thank You, Lady HotchKiss. It was, however, terminated not in a way i would have wished for. 33 days after the beginning of the denial period, which occured on Jan 13, i went to Lady HotchKiss for O/our regularly scheduled weekly play session. Since it would be the first time W/we’ve played since Dec 18, i have to admit my hopes were rather high that i’d experience the orgasm i had been craving since Dec 11. W/we have an agreement that if play is not to occur on O/our scheduled day, She would let me know prior to my arrival so that i would not get my hopes and expectations up too high and since She had not done so, i traveled to Her with great anticipation and pondering the wonders of BDSM that She might introduce me to on this occasion (not to mention the aforementioned orgasmic release!). i have to say here that on a number of occasions i had hinted to LadyH about how long it had been since i had a release.

On my arrival, Lady HotchKiss proceeded to outline a list of tasks that she wanted done (i am Her handyman), none of which included time in the dungeon and/or an orgasm! Filled with disappointment, yet striving mightily not to show it, i went about the tasks She required and when i had finished the last of them, presented myself to Her for further instructions. i am not sure of the look on my face as i awaited more chores but i am sure there was a grin on my face as She instructed me to go to the dungeon and get undressed. i would have skipped my way there if not for the fact that the dungeon is in the basement and skipping downstairs may have resulted in broken bones. She did not keep me waiting as She usually does, but arrived in the dungeon almost immediately after i’d gotten my clothes off and She told me we were going to do a little CBT (She loves CBT so i that was not entirely unanticipated) and that i should grab a towel and lay down on Her table. She proceeded to lock one wrist and the opposing ankle to the chains, squirted lube all over my cock and balls and told me to start masturbating! i was just a bit incredulous. Masturbation, for me, has always been a solitary experience and the only times i had been forced to do it with an audience present, ….well, let’s just say i had some difficulty….as i did this time as well. It likely didn’t help either that LadyH occasionally would arise and tickle my feet or use Her “pokey thingy” on my thighs. After some time, i began to feel a familiar urging and asked LadyH for permission to cum. She then started a countdown from 10 and when She got to 8, i could no longer hold it. It was not, however, the sort of cataclysmic orgasm i had been anticipated, but rather more of a slow oozing of fluid from my still limp cock with little to no orgasm as all!

The last time She gave me a countdown for orgasm, She had reached one and i still couldn’t cum for quite some time, so this time i waited much longer before asking, sure that even if i was on the verge of cumming, i could hold it for a few seconds. Such was not the case, and She did, in fact, mention afterward that i had not waiting until “one”. i made some sort of lame excuse about thinking She was giving me UNTIL She reached “one” to cum and to my surprise, She accepted that.

At any rate, i got the release i had asked for…it just wasn’t the release i had been hoping for. To say it was anticlimactic would be the understatement of the year. But, to give credit where credit is due, i did learn my lesson! In the future, whenever i am on orgasm denial, i will refrain from leaving hints about as to how i need to cum. i just may, once again, get exactly what i ask for.

by the way…. i was immediately put back on orgasm denial.

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A Humbling Experience

boy — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:13:13 +0000

i have been in the lifestyle, both online and real life for about 12 years now, and had always been fascinated by a toy known as a “humbler”. Typically a humbler is made of carved wood and traps the balls between two layers of wood that are positioned behind the thighs such that it is impossible to stand straight. One must either kneel or move about while bent at the knees. It forces the sub/slave into a humble position, hence the name. For about a year or so, my Owner had been coveting a humbler. Not just any humbler, mind you…but an aluminum humbler. Her thought process was that wood was much too warm a product for something as delicate and tempting as a slave’s balls, and that aluminum could be kept in a refrigerator…or better yet a freezer…or even a cold room, and would give much better results than a typical wooden humbler. Well, as it happened, one of Her clients (thanks bunches, Joseph!) just happened to spy one (or was it pointed out to him by LadyH???), for sale at this years DomCon in Atlanta, and merrily purchased it for Her, hoping to gain favor (i assume) and not giving thought one to others of us who might be “allowed” to experience the beneficence of his gift. This past week, i had the rare opportunity of experiencing this particular humbler myself.

Our session started, as always, by LadyH instructing me to go to the dungeon and get naked. She had told me She was going to use all the new toys She had accumulated since DomCon, including the humbler. When i got downstairs, the first thing i did was go to the humbler and pick it up. Please keep in mind that the dungeon is the coldest room in the house and the space heater down there doesn’t really do a lot to help that. But it does provide a warm surface. When i picked up the humbler, i was stunned to feel how cold the damn thing was! It felt as though it had just come out of the freezer and just about that time, i had my brainstorm! i could place the humbler atop the space heater and warm it up a bit before LadyH came down!!! What a grand idea!!! And so, i did. i put it on the heater, left it there for a bit, then turned it over and let the other side warm up a bit. After awhile, i heard LadyH coming downstairs and so, i picked up the humbler to replace it and was totally shocked at how warm it had become. Just as aluminum cools quickly and completely, it also warms quickly and completely. There was nothing i could do but put the humbler back in it’s place and hope it cooled at least a bit before LadyH picked it up and discovered what i had done.

Wouldn’t you know it, the first thing LadyH did was go directly to the humbler and pick it up. There came a look across Her face that is difficult to describe. Kind of like a cross between puzzlement, humor and anger. She then glanced down at the space heater, and back up at me. “You put this on the heater didn’t you?”, She asked. At that point, i couldn’t help myself…it must have been a nervous reaction as i burst out laughing. She took it in good humor, thankfully, but promptly put the device into the refrigerator (perhaps it was the freezer, i couldn’t see from where i was) and then, while it was cooling, attached me to the St Andrew’s Cross and proceeded to administer CBT in a most painful way while waiting for the humbler to cool. Apparently the refrigerator wasn’t working fast enough, so She then put the humbler outside to cool some more, while She continued to work my balls over. CBT has long been an affectation of Hers, but lately She has been concentrating more on the balls than usual and more painfully so. After a longish period (please don’t ask how long….when one’s balls are being tortured the only concept of time that enters the mind is “how much longer?”), She retrieved the humbler and, at long last, i had my first experience with that devious device. Let me just say this. i am very fortunate indeed that She kept me on the cross rather than getting me down and making me move about, or worse yet, stand up. i can readily see the potential for using this device in conjunction with predicament bondage, where the wrong move will force a pulling on the balls. i suspect, however, that the humbler will not be used overmuch in the House of HotchKiss. LadyH, i think, prefers Her balls and cock to be free-moving as She administers to them.

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Humiliation play

boy — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:27:16 +0000

Last week was not a good week for me at all. On top of missing O/our regular play session, i committed an irrational number of transgressions of varying degrees of seriousness from the inane to the very serious indeed.
On the way to yesterday’s session, i was filled with trepidation, fearing punishment of the kind only HotchKiss is capable of…usually severe, Machiavellian and always appropriate to the crime. On arrival i was greatly surprised twice within moments. i knelt at Her feet waiting to be told to kiss them as is O/our greeting protocol. Instead of instructing me to kiss Her feet, She told me to go to the dungeon and undress. This was shocking twice and in two different ways. It was the first time i had not been allowed to kiss Her feet and my mind reeled at that just as i realized that She had told me to get undressed, usually a prelude to a play session which i was NOT expecting at all. Wounded by the denial of homage yet lifted by the possibility of play, i went to the dungeon, stripped and awaited Her arrival, my mind nearly unable to cope with the conflicting thoughts rushing about.
After discussing my transgressions, their severity and causality, She presented me with a choice. i could choose a “long-term devastating” punishment, or a short-term humiliation. Without more specifics, i found it too difficult to make the choice and so i responded “whichever will provide You the most amusement, HotchKiss”. She looked at me momentarily and then told me to stick my thumb in my ass.
i was shocked into stillness. Like a deer in headlights, i stood looking at Her and finally blurted out “without lube, HotchKiss?” She laughed, considered briefly and then allowed that i could use lube if i thought i needed it. Apparently, She considered that during the past week i had my thumb up my ass, if not my head, and She decided She wanted to see what it looked like. After getting the lube and applying it to my thumb, i contorted myself to the point where i could stick my thumb up my ass. She had me assume various positions, and poses, both sitting and standing in various parts of the dungeon, including on the St Andrews cross. When there, She laughed loudly and went upstairs to get the camera, muttering “perfect…just perfect”. Thankfully, the camera was not working due to low batteries. There’s no telling what She would have done with those pictures. At that point, She had me insert my forefinger as well, which was even harder to do, and i resumed posing for Her while She laughed and chatted.
Was it humiliating? yes. But actually it was humiliating in a good way, as it provided amusement for HotchKiss and in fact, seemed to release all the pressure that had been pent up in me during the past week, from what source i’m not completely sure, but it included worrying about my transgressions, and the stress of the unrelieved anxiety/anticipation built up prior to O/our last scheduled session. i have never been a huge fan of humiliation play, but neither have i been overly averse to it. This exercise provided an example of how it can be used to useful purpose. The rest of the session was spent on the cross, with some cane striping, paddling and spanking. Not enough to send me into subspace, but enough to provide the endorphins my body now craves, and enough to provide some fun for HotchKiss. Lunch with Her afterward was it’s usual bonus, as i basked in Her presence.

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