Owned Boy

Posts Tagged ‘Dominance’

Orgasm Denial….arggghhhhh….dreaded words to a sub/slave.  It’s not that we can’t go without an orgasm for a certain period of time, it’s that so much of what we do is sensual in nature.  Combine the sensual/sexual nature of what we do with an edict that one may not have an orgasm does serve to heighten the sensuality, but it also produces, at least in males, an unpleasant physiological response commonly referred to as “blue balls”.  Read the rest of this entry »

It would be nice if i could live BDSM 24/7, unfortunately (and sometimes fortunately), the rest of the world will sometimes insist that i pay some attention. This blog is about one of those times. Read the rest of this entry »

A question brought up by my Owner, LadyHotchKiss, has prompted this post.  i had come to believe that Her idea of punishment was proper, appropriate and served a good purpose.  She has always styled the punishment to relate closely to the infraction and has always striven to ensure the punishment taught a needed lesson.  But the more i think about the subject, the more i am coming to believe that corporal punishment also has a place in the M/s dynamic.  Unless, of course, the one being punished is indeed a masochist, in which case it does no good at all.  Read the rest of this entry »

i recently had occasion to be punished (am still under the punishment actually) for an infraction that i won’t go into here as it doesn’t really add to the post. Suffice to say, LadyHotchKiss was not pleased with Her boy.  i knew i was going to be punished, but there was no way to guess which direction the punishment might take as LadyH always comes up with unique punishments.  They are rarely very punishing, however. She prefers punishments which teach something the sub/slave needs to learn or relearn.  She did not tell me what She wanted me to learn from this punishment.  i believe She’s waiting for me to tell what i have learned and will correct me if i’m wrong.  Hence, the purpose of this writing. Read the rest of this entry »

As an s-type, what does the phrase “may i speak freely?” mean to you?  i can tell you what it does not mean.  It does not mean that one can speak from anger, or, more commonly, frustration or that one can show disrespect in one’s attitude or demeanor.  Speaking freely means that one can discuss (stress DISCUSS) any subject.  If there is a subject that is bothering you so much that you cannot contain your frustration when trying to speak of it, then now is not the time to speak of it.  Wait until you’ve had a chance to recognize that your frustration is not going to help resolve matters, but rather will hinder that resolution.  This is a dual-edged sword.  Refraining from speaking of the issue can quickly add to the frustration, but letting the frustration get the better of the conversation is not only self-defeating, it is destructive.  A relationship that has taken months or years to build up and solidify can be severely damaged by the outbreaks which can result from expressing frustration.

To avoid this, sit by yourself and calmly, without emotion, examine the issue(s) which have led you to this point.  After you have done so, then ask if you may speak freely.  You may even want to preface your comments by telling your D-type that the issue you want to discuss has been frustrating you and in that way, give Him or Her a heads-up that this issue is important enough to you to cause that sort of reaction.  You may even want to ask your D-type to develop some sort of hand signal to use so that, without interrupting you, He or She can signal you to calm yourself a bit before continuing.
We all have times when our emotions and frustrations get the better of us.  This is an issue i’ve had difficulty with and i am determined to remove that difficulty from my service. Learning how to deal with it before involving my Owner will make me a better s-type and improve my service to Her.

Many people (myself included) have written about going into and being in subspace, even about sub-drop, which is related. But few have written about coming out of sub-space and so i will attempt that now. Read the rest of this entry »

Those who have read some of these pages know that i prefer to write from a humorous point of view.  i think this posting is going to be of a more serious nature, as the last of LadyHotchKiss’s play sessions with me was of a more serious nature. W/we got back to some basics, which caused me to consider whether what we do is truly play or not. Read the rest of this entry »